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Counselor's Corner: Responsibility
Contributed by Jenna Long, Guidance Counselor
I am certain it is a common sentiment at the moment, but lately I
continuously find myself thinking: “Can the end of the school year be here
already?” Another year has flown by, but what a joy and privilege it is to be
a part of such a wonderful school. The Character Trait for the month of
May is Responsibility. Through our Character Education Program, we have
spent the year studying a variety of valuable concepts designed to help
reinforce the values and morals we all strive to teach our children at home
in our daily lives. Interestingly, this month’s trait is a bit unique. Unlike the
others, responsibility is often used in conversation with a negative
connotation. That is – “You’re going to be held responsible for this!” or
“This was your responsibility!” This is a cultural sign of how heavy this
character trait can sometimes be. As a result, we sometimes think of our
responsibilities as burdens. But as we study this trait with our children we
are focused on the opposite – how important and positive responsibility can be.
When presenting the Character Trait to the students each month, I
often find it helpful to discuss an actual dictionary definition of the word, as
they are often somewhat unfamiliar terms to the youngest students here at
HCES. One of several dictionary definitions I found for responsibility is “the
opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without
authorization.” While this particular description is of course above the
heads of our PK3 students, I find it to be a particularly valuable definition.
When viewed in a positive light, responsibility is really about empowerment.
As this definition states, it is about opportunity and independence. What
we are teaching our children is that responsibility is about balance – the
freedom to make a decision, but also being held to account for its result. It
is about the freedom to succeed and inversely, the freedom to fail. As
many studies have shown, being free to fail – and sometimes feeling that
failure – is an important part of social development. Ultimately, it is how
each of us as individuals learn and grow into a more mature level of
responsibility. The responsibility to do your homework can and should be
empowering – “This is yours Johnny. You will decide how it gets done.”
But Johnny also knows that he will own the success or failure.
Responsibility is a blessing, and one that is often multiplied when we
prove ourselves worthy of being trusted. As we see in Luke 12:48: “For
unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to
whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more” (KJV). I
always find it helpful to think of responsibility in these terms: the more
plentiful our responsibilities, the more manifold our blessings. Our gifts, our
freedom, our power, our independence are all blessings as well as
responsibilities. If we can impart an attitude of appreciation towards
responsibility to our children such that they might be eager to take on a
new challenge and a new duty, there is no telling how high they can fly.
As we well know, our responsibilities come in many shapes and
sizes. It is our responsibility to fulfill our obligations with regard to all the
other character traits we have learned about this year – to be courteous,
honest, positive, respectful, tolerant, proactive, courageous, trustworthy,
empathetic, and compassionate. This sounds like a very tall order, and
often, as parents, granting more responsibility to our children is a little
scary. But to bring this home – that is our responsibility. We are
responsible for teaching our children to make their own choices and be
autonomous so they can learn to be responsible for themselves. As we
hand off responsibility we also provide love and support and
encouragement, whether or not our children find immediate success in their
endeavors. Of course, this is a long and slow process that is completed in
what may feel like baby steps. Yet it is SO important to put responsibility
into our children’s hands. Remarkably, so often when we do we find they
can handle more than we expect. There is nothing better than seeing the
pride on a child’s face when he accomplishes something on his own for the
first time.
Right now our biggest responsibility as a school community is
finishing strong and not starting summer break a few days early! The finish
line is in sight; just a few more days to go! So as the school year comes to
a close, here’s to being mindful of our many blessings and eagerly
embracing the responsibility that those blessings bring; and furthermore, to
handing off a few of those responsibilities when we can and watching our
children bloom like May flowers as they grow and learn and strive to take
on more.
Holy Comforter Episcopal School is a top-rated private, Episcopal, coed school for PreK-8th Grade students located in Tallahassee, Florida.
